Why I Love Perfume Genius

With darkness their's always light. These two things simply exist because of each other. Darkness is dark, because light is light.

If that makes any sense...

What I'm trying to get across, is that if an artist is going to make "dark" music, there is always going to be some light countering it, because if not, the feelings don't feel genuine. This doesn't mean a song about suicide has to include some cheesy respite to make the listener "feel better". And there doesn't always have to be a happy ending to an album. But if the whole collection of songs is emotionally stark, it can become a slog to get through.

This is where the music of Perfume Genius comes in. Mike Hadreas is the sole member of Perfume Genius, the moniker that he performs emotionally harrowing piano ballads under. When it comes down to it, Hadreas has been through a lot of shit.

The Seattle native, has had a hard time over the years, struggling with addiction and other problems. As he phrases it "I replaced alcohol with coke, then with meth, because meth is cheaper and a lot more fun. But toward the end... it was tragic". Hadreas was attending NYU for film, but then dropped out, leading to what he describes as "a Chinese buffet" of drugs. After this, he also had a hard time with friends and family. "I'd go to family dinners and no one knew what to talk to me about" Hadreas confesses. "Like what were they going to say: 'Hey Mike, how's being a gay drug addict going?"

Four years ago, Hadreas went back to Seattle and moved in with his mother. He did this to detox and regroup, and played a lot of video games (he was in a gay World of Warcraft Guild called Taint). During this time, he began to write music, and recorded with a cheap microphone headset and on the piano in his mother's living room.

What resulted, was his debut album, Learning, released in 2010. The album was eviscerating and also naked, and to the listener, heartbreaking. Hadreas sings in a breathy, androgynous voice, that sometimes turns into a slight warble. Many times, he sounds as if he's on the verge of tears.

Hadreas has cited Liz Phair as an influence, and through his lyrics, her influence looms. Phair sang about things that women in indie rock didn't typically sing about (along with Fiona Apple and PJ Harvey). Hadreas does the same thing, but from a gay male's point of view. The album's best song, "Mr. Peterson", reflects this. It's the story of a relationship between Hadreas, age sixteen, and his high school teacher. "He let me smoke weed in his truck", Hadreas intones, "if I could convince him I loved him enough". Then there's a twist, after Mr. Peterson gives Hadreas a Joy Division tape, and then jumps off a building. In being one of the most complicated goodbyes, Hadreas sings "I knew you weren't ready to go / I hope there's room for you up above / or down below". The song is heartbreaking, and truly unique at the same time.

The lo-fi recording also reflects Phair's early days as a musician. Hadreas' music is lo-fi, but reasonably so. There's no tape hiss covering his music, it's just him and his mother's piano. Where most lo-fi musicians in 2010 found themselves becoming less relatable with the listener because of the recording quality, it works in Hadreas' case. Many times on Learning, you an actually hear Hadreas' feet hit the piano pedals, and sometimes you can hear his mother's dogs in the background. This adds a whole new layer of intimacy.

As a piano player, Hadreas isn't showy or aggressive. Instead, he plays simple piano lines and simple chord progressions that you'll find working their way into your head. "Learning" starts sounding like the soundtrack of an indie movie, before Hadreas comes in singing "No one will answer your prayers, until you take off that dress".

As a lyricist, Hadreas always tells a story, with details, but also leaves many spaces, allowing the listener to fill in the blanks. The details that Hadreas chooses to share are always interesting. On "Lookout Lookout", there's Mary Belle, "with an upercase M", who's mother is a drug dealer. To carve out a name for herself, Mary Belle kills Brian, "who didn't have a family to begin with". There's the paycheck in the hands of Perry on "Perry" and the line of trees lining the drive on "When". Just like the recording quality, the details add to the intimacy of Learning.

Learning had "Gay Angels" and "No Problem", both which were pieces of smeary ambient organ and ethereal vocals, showing a more ambitious Hadreas. Those hoping for more, were rewarded with the release of 2012's Put Your Back N 2 It, Hadreas' second offering as Perfume Genius.

Right from the opening song, "AWOL Marine". "AWOL Marine" still deals in ambient smears like "Gay Angels", but there's actual, heartbreaking lyrics in it. Hadreas says the song was inspired by a clip of homemade porn he watched, where a man admitted that he was only trying to get medication for his wife. The backstory gives the lyrics, "if you want your medicine, show me... AWOL Marine, turn to the camera, slowly", a certain weight.

Put Your Back N 2 It is also considerably less lo-fi than it's predecessor. Some would think that this would lead to the loss of intimacy surrounding Hadreas' music, but now his voice is pushed to the forefront, and you can hear everything that Hadreas sings.


Put Your Back N 2 It, is even more personal than Learning, with Hadreas addressing things like his family to homosexuality. "Dark Parts" features a simple chord progression backed by a cajon and guitar, with Hadreas weaving a story about the abuse his mother suffered at the hands of her father. "The hands of God were bigger than Grandpa's eyes / but still he broke the elastic from your waist", Hadreas sings, showing his eye for detail. The song is almost life affirming with Hadreas following that lyric with, "but he will never break you baby".

"All Waters" is a love song to Hadreas' boyfriend, but it has a much darker shade to it. Hadreas sings about how when "flowers grow on every hillside" that he'll finally be able to hold his hand. The topic of homosexuality comes again on "17", possibly the album's most heartbreaking song. It's described as a gay teen's suicide letter, and the imagery of a body stuffed in a violin, strung on a fence and covered in semen is heartbreaking.

On this release, Hadreas has also become more ambitious with instrumentation. "Normal Song" actually puts a lightly strummed acoustic guitar at the forefront, instead of a piano. On "Hood" (where Hadreas feels he doesn't deserve love) the song explodes into a full band exposition, with even drums. "No Tear" features pitched down vocals. "Floating Spit" is lo-fi, harking back to Learning, but it features delayed drums and a bed of synths.

Where it may seem that Hadreas is being consumed by the darkness, Put Your Back N 2 It features cracks of light shining through. At the end of "No Tear", Hadreas professes that he will "carry on with grace". Even though the final song, "Sister Song" ends uncertainly, with the character heading off to rehab, there's something affirming about their friends keeping their house clean while they're gone.

On "Take Me Home" from Put Your Back... Hadreas sings "I run my mouth like a fool". Now, some would say that as the truth, with Hadreas not censoring any of his ideas. But that's what lies in the genius of Perfume Genius. Hadreas' music isn't for everybody, but even the non-listener would commend him for being brave enough to strip himself naked across his songs, leaving him vulnerable.

Simply put, the music of Perfume Genius is beautiful.